Over the years, I have lost both parents, a baby, my spouse and siblings as well as close friends and colleagues. Part of the grieving process involves creating means of honoring the loved ones in your life. It is also natural to want to keep their memories alive. This month, I have included some suggestions for honoring our loved ones who have died.
Ideas for Honoring a Loved One
- Did your loved one volunteer in the community? Give a donation in their name to a charity they either supported or would have endorsed.
- Were they gardeners? Plant a tree, flowers or even a garden. The sweet fragrance of flowers or the produce will be a constant reminder of this special person.
- Did you know the US Postal Service will create a custom stamp using an image you upload? This image may be anything such as a drawing or a favorite photo. You may then purchase a roll of stamps that serve as legal tender for mailing letters and packages.
- Use clothing, ties, or scarves for various projects. Clothes can be used for quilt blocks. Still other uses include stuffed animals. Neckties can be crafted into Christmas tree skirts. Even a single blouse or shirt may be shaped into a simple, square love pillow for family members. A future grandbaby will have a stuffed bear from Grandpa’s wool coat, and each of my children have a quilt made from my husband’s shirts.
- Build something in the name of your loved one. This may be something as simple as a birdhouse or as complex as a climbing toy at your neighborhood park.
- Did your loved one enjoy books? Construct a simple free street library where people can donate or take a book. These are very popular and are springing up all over town in residential areas. When completed, place a small plaque on it in honor of your loved one.
- Was your loved one a teacher or did he encourage education? Create a scholarship in their honor. A scholarship can be a large endowment or a one-time award for any sum of money. The recipient will be grateful someone else saw promise in them and invested in their future.
- Were they great cooks? Gather their recipes and create a collection of the favorite recipes. Include little anecdotes if known. Every time someone uses a recipe from the cookbook, they will be reminded of this special cook.
- If the person knitted, carved wood or did another craft, complete an unfinished project. Whenever one sees or uses it, there will be a special memory that BOTH of you created it.
- Frame a poem or letter the person had written. Or, frame a card they had given you.
- Remember them at a special celebration. For example, my husband died before our son’s wedding. We set up a table with his picture and some information about him at the wedding reception. Including the individual keeps memories alive.
- When a close colleague, a fellow teacher, died, I asked students to write a note containing any special memory or story about the deceased. In two weeks, I had almost 100 notes that I bound in a scrapbook and gave to his wife. Twenty years later, it is still one of her prized possessions.
- My brother was a veteran ad very proud of his service to his country. When he passed, his children and I organized a coat drive so that they could be donated to homeless vets who were in need of them.
I have given you some suggestions. Pick and choose what may seem right for you. Please feel free to incorporate any of these into your personal means of honoring your loved one. Remember the grief process takes time, so be gentle with yourself. Use your own emotions as a gauge for your choices. It may take awhile to complete a chosen way to honor your loved one. That is perfectly normal. During this time, remember to honor yourself and your feelings at this time. And, remember Meacham Funeral Service is always here for you.
As a genealogy buff, I was
browsing through old newspapers one day and decided – just for fun – to take a
break and look up the newspaper headline from exactly 100 years ago. The headline wasn’t that interesting so I
began to look through the entire paper.
That’s when something caught my eye.
On page 5 was an article titled “Firemen Find Caskets, Aged Pair Are
Saving”. Wow; one hundred years ago an
elderly couple pre-purchased caskets for themselves with the idea of not having
to pay more later.
Was this the first “pre-paid”
funeral arrangement?! Maybe, maybe not,
but this would have been rare. The
concept of paying ahead for a funeral (in Indiana) probably didn’t go
mainstream until the 1980’s. Today, it’s
as common as drafting a will, naming a power-of-attorney, or stating healthcare
directives.
A lot has changed in
pre-paying for funerals over the years but one thing is the same: just like the
elderly couple did in 1920, caskets can be pre-paid so that you’ll never have
to pay more later. The big difference
today is that the caskets don’t have to sit in your living room like theirs
did! Nor does the entire balance have to
be paid up front; payments can be made over time with a preplanned funeral
contract.
Don’t have a need for caskets? Perhaps you plan on a cremation; that can be
paid ahead as well. Meacham Funeral
Service is fortunate to have Andrea Thornburg, an experienced licensed funeral
director, as our Family Service Advisor.
Call for a free consultation to learn what options are available to you.
When my dear grandmother passed away, one of her wishes was for her grandchildren, including the girls, to be pallbearers. What an honor that was! I realized that I played a huge part in honoring the life she once lived. When there is no ceremony our loved ones do not get to experience that crucial element of ceremony – which can be a significant part of the healing process. When I meet with families to pre-plan, I always ask if there is a preference as to who the pallbearers should be. Although this question can be answered when a death occurs, having your wishes in place and met when they are needed can be a wonderful thing for those who participate. There are three important things to know when choosing pallbearers: 1) knowing when pallbearers are appropriate, 2) knowing who can be a pallbearer, and 3) knowing what an honorary pallbearer is. Pallbearers are necessary when casketed remains are transported from the place of the funeral to the cemetery. Usually, close friends or family members serve as pallbearers; although, I have seen colleagues, veteran personnel, and emergency professionals (police, fire, etc.) participate. Traditionally there are 6 to 8 pallbearers who carry the casket. If someone is too emotionally upset to carry the casket or is not physically capable, there is a way for them to still be involved by serving as an honorary pallbearer. An honorary pallbearer can walk along the side, behind, or in front of the casket. So if you ever wondered if women, someone with a disability, or young children are able to participate as a pallbearer, the answer is yes! If you want to be the one to decide who takes an active part in how you will be remembered, call me soon and I will help you get your plans in place.
I was on my way to an appointment a couple of weeks ago when I noticed the Love Song channel in my car changed over to the Holly Channel (satellite radio). They were playing Christmas music! It was confirmation that the holiday season was here. This made me think about gift giving. How many times have you pondered what to get for those special people in your lives? Before you run out and buy a dancing Santa, Billy bass, or a Chia pet, why not consider a gift that will make a significant difference? Many people are not aware that you can gift your children their own final arrangement plan and the amount is NOT counted towards the annual tax-free gift limit ($14,000) per child or grandchild. We already know how difficult it is to think about making final arrangements but even tougher to think we could put a financial burden on the people we love the most. Take advantage of avoiding the tax liability this year while providing a gift that is meaningful. Unusual? Maybe, but I guarantee this is one gift that won’t wear out, get thrown out, re-gifted, or end up at Goodwill. Call me today, your educated, licensed funeral director, to help you prepare for the future!
Pre-planning a funeral does not have to be scary.
We get it – going to a funeral home isn’t something people look forward to. That’s why Meacham offers in-home consultations completely free of charge. If you’ve been putting off pre-planning because of not wanting to come to us – I’ll come to you. It’s not uncommon at all and I would be honored to visit with you…in the comfort of your own home. The time spent planning in advance, which can be as brief as 45 minutes, is far less time and much less stressful than a family member making arrangements at the time of a loss. Your in-home appointment will take the sting out of any anxiety you may have about visiting the funeral home but still accomplish the goal of making final arrangements. It starts with a phone call. Call today to get your plans in place; the experience will be far more simple than you ever thought!
