Pulling The Plug On Social Media, Or Not

It’s 2020 and look how much our lives revolve around “social media”. How many times a day do you open your Facebook app? If you don’t have a Facebook profile you’re probably better off. But for the rest of us it can become a daily routine. Have you ever wondered what will happen to your social media accounts after your life ends? Does your online presence end? No. For the purpose of this blog I will focus on Facebook.

Countless times I’ve viewed Facebook profiles of people who have died. Friends and family often post messages on the person’s “wall” that, generally speaking, never seem to go away. After doing some research I found out that Facebook actually provides options for what happens to an account after the owner dies and recommends that everyone designate a selection. I did not know this!

In the Facebook application, under “Settings”, go to “Account Ownership and Control”. From there, navigate to “Memorialization Settings”. You’ll have two options: Choose Legacy Contact and Delete After Death.

Choosing a legacy contact will allow you to select someone to manage your account after you’re gone. They’ll be able to accept friend requests, pin a tribute post to the profile, and change profile/cover photos. They will also be able to choose who can see and post tributes.

Choosing to delete your account after death will, obviously, delete your entire account (including all pictures, posts, and comments). The catch here is that someone has to notify Facebook that you’ve died. I wasn’t able to determine what steps FB takes to verify a death. If you know, please let me know!

Ok, so what happens if you don’t select either option? FB says that if they determine – on their own, somehow, some way – that you’ve died, they will “memorialize” your account. This process includes adding the word “remembering” next to the name on the profile. Depending on privacy settings, friends would be able to post memories on the timeline. The owner’s photos and posts would remain on the account and viewable. No one can login to a memorialized account and the account cannot be changed.

Check out the settings in Facebook and think about your options.

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Cash & carry....caskets?

January 1, 2025

As a genealogy buff, I was browsing through old newspapers one day and decided – just for fun – to take a break and look up the newspaper headline from exactly 100 years ago. The headline wasn’t that interesting so I began to look through the entire paper. That’s when something caught my eye. On page 5 was an article titled “Firemen Find Caskets, Aged Pair Are Saving”. Wow; one hundred years ago an elderly couple pre-purchased caskets for themselves with the idea of not having to pay more later. Was this the first “pre-paid” funeral arrangement?! Maybe, maybe not, but this would have been rare. The concept of paying ahead for a funeral (in Indiana) probably didn’t go mainstream until the 1980’s. Today, it’s as common as drafting a will, naming a power-of-attorney, or stating healthcare directives. A lot has changed in pre-paying for funerals over the years but one thing is the same: just like the elderly couple did in 1920, caskets can be pre-paid so that you’ll never have to pay more later. The big difference today is that the caskets don’t have to sit in your living room like theirs did! Nor does the entire balance have to be paid up front; payments can be made over time with a preplanned funeral contract. Don’t have a need for caskets? Perhaps you plan on a cremation; that can be paid ahead as well. Meacham Funeral Service is fortunate to have Andrea Thornburg, an experienced licensed funeral director, as our Family Service Advisor. Call for a free consultation to learn what options are available to you.

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When my dear grandmother passed away, one of her wishes was for her grandchildren, including the girls, to be pallbearers. What an honor that was! I realized that I played a huge part in honoring the life she once lived. When there is no ceremony our loved ones do not get to experience that crucial element of ceremony – which can be a significant part of the healing process. When I meet with families to pre-plan, I always ask if there is a preference as to who the pallbearers should be. Although this question can be answered when a death occurs, having your wishes in place and met when they are needed can be a wonderful thing for those who participate. There are three important things to know when choosing pallbearers: 1) knowing when pallbearers are appropriate, 2) knowing who can be a pallbearer, and 3) knowing what an honorary pallbearer is. Pallbearers are necessary when casketed remains are transported from the place of the funeral to the cemetery. Usually, close friends or family members serve as pallbearers; although, I have seen colleagues, veteran personnel, and emergency professionals (police, fire, etc.) participate. Traditionally there are 6 to 8 pallbearers who carry the casket. If someone is too emotionally upset to carry the casket or is not physically capable, there is a way for them to still be involved by serving as an honorary pallbearer. An honorary pallbearer can walk along the side, behind, or in front of the casket. So if you ever wondered if women, someone with a disability, or young children are able to participate as a pallbearer, the answer is yes! If you want to be the one to decide who takes an active part in how you will be remembered, call me soon and I will help you get your plans in place.

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I was on my way to an appointment a couple of weeks ago when I noticed the Love Song channel in my car changed over to the Holly Channel (satellite radio). They were playing Christmas music! It was confirmation that the holiday season was here. This made me think about gift giving. How many times have you pondered what to get for those special people in your lives? Before you run out and buy a dancing Santa, Billy bass, or a Chia pet, why not consider a gift that will make a significant difference? Many people are not aware that you can gift your children their own final arrangement plan and the amount is NOT counted towards the annual tax-free gift limit ($14,000) per child or grandchild. We already know how difficult it is to think about making final arrangements but even tougher to think we could put a financial burden on the people we love the most. Take advantage of avoiding the tax liability this year while providing a gift that is meaningful. Unusual? Maybe, but I guarantee this is one gift that won’t wear out, get thrown out, re-gifted, or end up at Goodwill. Call me today, your educated, licensed funeral director, to help you prepare for the future!

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Pre-planning a funeral does not have to be scary. We get it – going to a funeral home isn’t something people look forward to. That’s why Meacham offers in-home consultations completely free of charge. If you’ve been putting off pre-planning because of not wanting to come to us – I’ll come to you. It’s not uncommon at all and I would be honored to visit with you…in the comfort of your own home. The time spent planning in advance, which can be as brief as 45 minutes, is far less time and much less stressful than a family member making arrangements at the time of a loss. Your in-home appointment will take the sting out of any anxiety you may have about visiting the funeral home but still accomplish the goal of making final arrangements. It starts with a phone call. Call today to get your plans in place; the experience will be far more simple than you ever thought!

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Pulling The Plug On Social Media, Or Not

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